This is a personal, very personal blog. I'm an individual, 24, and a long-term BDD sufferer (this is my elevenh year). I'm not a sad person, not my attitude, but I'm suicidal and I am in fact a self-deliverer. I never have the chance of expressing myself, my aches and the horrible torment of the mental illness; I don't vent on people- I'm just not able to do it. And people can't help me. So this is basically a blog about somebody who's gonna die within the next months and is not scared. I've spent months finding the 'best' and 'safest' way to end all this, so - 95% - there's no room for the word 'attempt'. This is a silent screaming I owe to myself.